Time To Wake Up For School!

It’s that time again . . . another school year begins. Some students are eager to reconnect with friends; others would be more so, if only school started at noon. To help get students, parents, and teachers back in the groove, here is some school humor—old corny jokes and famous quotes.

But I don’t want to go

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school.”

“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”

“Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”

“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!”

“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”

“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”

“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Head teacher!”

Holidays Are Over

The summer holiday was over and young Jack returned to Wicor school. Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbehaving.

“Wait a minute,” mother said. “I had Jack with me for six weeks and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”

School Learning

Nathan comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”

He replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”


Mum: How did you find school today?

Youngster: I simply hopped off the bus—and there it was.


Mia: I think we need a new teacher.

Mum: Why is that?

Mia: Our teacher doesn’t know anything, she keeps asking us for the answers.


When Dad came home he was astonished to see Vic sitting on a horse, writing something.

“What on earth are you doing there?” he asked.

“Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favorite animal,” answered Vic, “That’s why I’m here and that’s why Sara’s sitting in the goldfish bowl.”


Funny School Quotes

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. —Mark Twain


My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I’ve endured over the past twenty-five years. — Paul Merton


I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. —Woody Allen


I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopaedia.  Let them walk to school like I did. —Yogi Berra


In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from the smallest to the tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower? – Warren Hutcherson

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. —Edgar W. Howe


Thanks to Guy Thomas and the late Will Baker for their funny website guy-sports.com.