Substance Use Disorders and Parents

By Brenda Waugh

Addiction Awareness Month, observed in September in the United States, is a time dedicated to raising awareness and understanding of substance use disorders. This observance aims to reduce stigma, educate communities, and provide support to individuals and families affected by addiction. By dedicating a month to awareness, we can work together to address the challenges associated with substance use disorders.

When a parent has a substance abuse problem, one of the most important decisions parents face is choosing the process to resolve questions about how their children will be cared for. Twenty years ago, most parents felt that their only option was to proceed through litigation, where they would be represented by lawyers and argue substance use issues in court. A judge would then decide how the family would address the disorder to provide recommendations.

Fortunately, we now have two alternative processes to help families address these disputes: Mediation and Collaborative Law. Both approaches can offer more individualized, tailored, and therapeutic ways to address substance use disorders for parents addressing the disputes through legal processes.

In the collaborative process, both parties have attorneys who work as a team, often involving a child specialist, to make decisions regarding the parenting plan. All concerns and options are considered, regardless of how the law may typically approach them. Instead of one parent trying to prove the other is unfit, the two lawyers work together with the parents to create a parenting plan that is in the children’s best interest.

I have found it helpful to include a child expert as part of the collaborative team in cases where one parent is concerned about the other’s substance use disorder. The child expert, a neutral mental health professional, provides opinions on what is best for the child. In litigation, a neutral, usually a lawyer acting as a guardian ad litem, assembles information and makes recommendations for the judge to decide. In the collaborative process, the parents work directly with the child specialist and their lawyers to make informed decisions that enhance their ability to be good parents.

In mediation, the parties work with a neutral mediator who helps them craft a plan tailored to their needs. Mediation can be particularly effective in custody matters when a parent has a history of substance use. However, the mediator should be skilled in addressing power imbalances and knowledgeable about substance use disorder and the recovery process. In my experience, I often recommend that the parties consult with a child specialist to provide expertise in addressing the children’s needs.

Developing a parenting plan

With either process, the parenting plan can be designed to maximize the healing potential and promote the child’s best interests. Parenting plans usually address issues such as decision-making about the children and how custodial time is divided. They also include provisions to ensure both parents feel confident that the children are safe in both households. When a parent suffers from substance use disorder, the plan may significantly restrict their access to the child.

While most research supports maintaining relationships between parents and children, limiting a parent’s custodial time to supervised contact may be necessary to ensure the children’s safety. Custodial time can be supervised by a mutually agreed-upon family member, a professional, or at a visitation center.

When a parent is in recovery, the parenting plan often includes provisions that ensure both parents are comfortable with the situation and the children are secure. These provisions may include agreements for the parent to participate in a recovery program or to undergo regular drug or alcohol testing. By addressing substance use issues directly and utilizing available resources, parents can create parenting plans with greater clarity and assurance.

We strive to maximize the potential for healthy communication in all parenting plans. Provisions are often included that allow parents to meet monthly or quarterly, in person, without the children, to discuss their well-being. To minimize miscommunication, we encourage parents to avoid relying on apps or texting for anything other than scheduling, as in-person and oral communication tends to be more effective and reduces conflict.

Safety planning

In addition to custodial time and decision-making, parenting plans often include sections on safety planning and house rules. In the safety planning section, safety concerns are addressed, such as child restraint systems in cars, helmets for specific sports, and weapons storage. If there are concerns about drug or alcohol use, those are included here as well.

Sometimes, the parenting plan may include how a parent participates in a recovery program. Given the prevalence of alcohol in our society, limitations on access to alcohol might be included. For instance, a parent recovering from alcohol abuse may agree not to have alcohol in their home, or there may be provisions prohibiting alcohol consumption during parenting time or while operating a motor vehicle. In some cases, parents have included safety checks, such as requiring a breath alcohol concentration (BAC) test before custodial time begins. In other situations, parents agree to periodic drug tests, with the results shared with the other parent.

The safety plan may also address non-prescription or recreational drug use. Parents might disagree about the children’s exposure to certain substances. Working out an agreement and including those details about drug use may be explicitly outlined in the parenting plan.

When a parent is in recovery, the other parent may request an emergency mechanism to restrict access if the recovering parent relapses. The mechanism could allow a parent to restrict unsupervised access on a temporary basis, with the ability to resume normal contact when conditions are met. The mechanism could also require a return to mediation, the collaborative process, or require initiation of a court proceeding.

When one or both parents are recovering from substance use disorder, it is best to work with a mediator or use the collaborative process to ensure a comprehensive, long-term solution that promotes the well-being of the child.

Brenda Waugh is a lawyer/mediator with Waugh Law & Mediation, serving clients in the Blue Ridge region of Virginia and Eastern Panhandle of West Virginia.